I’ve lost my way. Today, I can’t remember why I’m doing what I’m doing. It was just over a month ago that I was sure about blogging… about God & me. I wanted to tell the truth. The reason? Well, I felt that God wanted me to. And I felt so passionate about Him. I wanted others to know that He is right there waiting… just waiting for those to seek Him. I was passionate about God, and I couldn’t help but pour out my heart… in a blog. But, as time moved on, I got side-tracked. Too much!! I love God and His word, and so naturally, I love books about His word. And so, I became overzealous. I had (and have) too many things going on at once! I just finished Behold… The Man and the Courageous Bible study for couples. Meanwhile, I was reading/am reading The Prayer of Jabez Devotional, The 5 Love Languages of Children, Journey devotionals, Proverbs 31 devotionals, and The Resolution for Women. In addition to these spiritual helps, I recently added in Facebook, new blogs to read and a new email account. And let me not forget… the Bible. I pour through God’s word and sometimes there are so many truths jumping out at me, it’s almost too much to absorb. My Bible has so many verses underlined, and so many circles and stars and yellow post-its, that I can’t remember why I starred something to begin with. I’ve been diligent about searching God’s word… but for what?
You search the Scriptures, for in them you think you have eternal life; and these are they which testify of Me. John 5:39
Yes, that’s it, I want life. I want the abundant life that Jesus promises. And because I want to live, I think adding in more spiritual helps will help. But I’ve accomplished quite the opposite. In actuality, I’ve simply become very busy, thus the abundant life has been sapped right out of me. But this is nothing new. It’s what I always do! It’s a pattern in my life. I start off beautifully, for God. But then, I interject myself and screw things up. I just can’t seem to help myself. I began blogging for God. That’s the truth. But I felt I knew just how it should go. The plan was for me to follow my old journals. I thought that as I stumbled across truths or God moments, I would blog about those. Easy, right? And so, God’s way became my way. And the fruit of my way was extra work and writing. Because I tried to stick to a format formulated by me. So much of that writing ended up in the trash folder… because I lost my way.
When I began a blog, I started off at the right place. Because I had a real and intimate relationship with God. I spent time with Him… just God & me. But as I crept closer to the edge of His glory, I started doing extra stuff. I crammed too much into the time that should have been just us. But the time with God should be simple. Because with Him, nothing else is required.
But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him and said, “Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me.” And Jesus answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.” Luke 11:40-42
Yes, Mary knew the truth. Mary simply sat at the feet of Jesus and heard the Word. She didn’t let anything distract her as she listened intently. Because she knew that Jesus was the one necessary thing. She knew that He was that good part that would not be taken from her. And this is what I’ve forgotten. This is how I’ve lost my way. Because I added too much in. I haven’t been able to listen closely to God, because I’ve been listening to too many other things. All good things, just too much. Recently I realized… less is more. But so quickly, I forgot this wisdom. Less is so much more, especially if that one thing is sitting at the feet of Jesus.
Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.” John 14:6
What do I want? I want God the Father. But I’ve been missing Him. I’ve crowded Him out of my life. Oh, there’s so much out there… so many helpful things. But the truth is, we need only one thing. We have God’s Word and we have His Holy Spirit. If we can remove all that’s unnecessary so that we can hear what is necessary, that one good part, then we’ll find our way. If we quiet ourselves before Him, we will remember why we do what we do.
It’s so simple… or it should be. If I can just sit still and be with Him, I will remember why I began writing in the first place. I simply need to return to that relationship with God. Yes, it’s clear. I have to go back the way I came. And all I have to do is follow Jesus, and I’ll find my way. Because He is the way.